Part of being a parent involves self-examination. Once becoming a parent, feelings about your own childhood can bubble up to the surface. It is important that you address your past and those negative, not-so-easy experiences to better your own child’s upbringing. As a parent you don’t have to bury your past, and instead learn from it and share your experiences and feelings with your little one as they grow up.
As a parent, you’ll want to set standards and expectations for your parenting style. One of the first places that your mind will go is to your own childhood. Use this to your advantage and take time to recollect your favorite memories, what you liked and disliked about your parents and home life, what you struggled with academically, socially, mentally and physically and where your greatest difficulties tended to lay. All of this can be used in a positive way to better yourself as a parent.
Consider your strongest, healthiest relationships growing up, what made them this way? Whether it was with your mom or dad, or sibling, think about why you enjoyed that relationship. Depending on your upbringing and family dynamic, you may have grown up in a quiet, more reserved home or a home where there was constant arguing and chaos. No matter the environment, it has had some effect on you and keep that in mind when deciding the best ways to parent your own child.
Memories & The Past
Being able to reflect upon your greatest and worst memories when you were younger will allow you to relate to your own child and what they may be experiencing. If they are struggling in school with math, feeling left out, having difficulty adjusting to a new home, losing a family member or a pet or can’t find something they are good at, chances are you went through some of these very same experiences. You will find it is easier to be more sensitive and understanding with your child in times like these and will be in a better place to communicate and offer solutions. When your child learns that their parent has gone through some of the same struggles, they may feel a sense of relief because they aren’t the only ones, and it may be easier for them to keep their head up and think positively.